Oh Jesus, yes Jesus it’s soon your birthday
Just look all around with our souls we shall pay.
To be screwed by unreasonable big market tech,
They’re a pain in the arse and the wallet and neck!
The car parks are full as the shops overflow.
With each passing moment I feel my rage grow.
There’s kids who are screaming and being a pain,
If I had a knife I just couldn’t contain
My compunction to hack at the jugular vein,
And then dance a light jig at the looks of distain.
But what blood curdling screams,
Ah, the drown Christmas cheer.
A welcome refrain to my critical ear.
The crimson cascade dribbles forth form my blade,
I can see it congeal, is this art which I’ve made?
Although Santa’s red tunic was never so pure,
If I get caught out here I’m a gonna for sure.
So, I’ll end my tirade of abuse to our lord,
As my killing spree ends and I’m getting quite bored.
Now I’ll bid you good day and I’ll leave you with this,
If my smile looks insistent, just DONT TAKE THE PISS.