Ten minutes, ten fucking minutes it took today to set my fuse, and it was (once again) old bastard drivers! The type with the shooting waistcoat and flat-cap (befitting of a total twat) with a pink rinsed fat faced bingo winged lemon sucking faced talc white no lipped wife at his side!!!my first encounter with the grave dodgers would be in the garage as I was filling up!!! The garage for duck sake! It shouldn’t have bothered me, but the pure ignorance exuded by this whelp beggared belief and I cured my wrath.
As I happily filled ‘BigRed’ with nutrition, the car in the next isle patiently waits for the rear car in front of him to pull away. Very civilised I thought, then the old bastard pulled up between the two pumps and blocked off the lane for the rest of the cars behind him. I nearly overfilled my tank as I looked at the other drivers shaking heads and moaning behind the safety of their glass shields, you see, they were all just as old as this cunt with the Volvo! So everyone was far too English and polite to cause a stir. I finished furling and went to pay, as I walked to the kiosk, I turned to the walking dead bloke and asked him what his game was and told him in no uncertain circumstances that he was a cunt!
He looked at me as though I was in the wrong, but you know what, I couldn’t have given a less fuck if I had thrown a lit cigarette at him and watch him become something I could toast marshmallows on. Then, then there was the white haired ghost of a moron int he car park at the doctors! (Remember, my wick was trimmed and set to incandescent by now). My doctors surgery has a huge car park with a proper full sized road leading to it (remember that snippet) as I was pulling away after collecting my ‘sensible’ meds, this dusty hue’d crusty fuck came around the corner IN ANOTHER VOLVO and decided he wasn’t a normal car driver, no, he was Lewis fucking Hamilton as he took the racing line and nearly threw me into the Armco.
Like a good martini, shaken, not stirred, I carried on riding, because if I had stopped I would have dragged him out his car and ripped his fucking face off and worn it for a Halloween mask!!! (I’m calm, I really am) A couple of travelling incidents on my way to the bank, old fucks not indication, old years braking FOR NO REASON, I’m bringing my GoPro our next time and posting video of degenerate generations! My day hasn’t even crossed the yardarm yet, so there may be an addendum later. Stay safe my loves!