Day Realise

Well, I enjoyed my last missive as long as you sing it 🙂 today I’ve decided to look at myself with a critical eye (not too critical obviously! It’s ME after all) where to start? Where can one look at oneself and pick fault? No, not fault, but ‘differences’ to the norm. But what is ‘the norm’ I hear you ask, (I really need to stop listening to these voices in my head)

Normal? I’ve heard of that but I haven’t met anyone who is supposed to be ‘normal’ (and believe me, I’ve looked) I suppose I gauge normalness on what I know to be true, and mostly that’s just shit I know that I like. Am I making sense? In my head I am, but you’re not in there with me. Back to the thread. I’m a cunt. Yes I am, but I’m a nice cunt, I’m a friendly cunt and a horrible cunt all in one. In other words, I’m the me who you all know and love. If you think YOU’RE not one, then look in that mirror.

But now I see I have to be more than that, I have to look at the culminations of my decisions and live with my choices. Sometimes those choices were chosen in duress, sometimes chosen by emotion, not cool logic. (If they were, I would be a fucking Vulcan) I guess what I’m trying to say, is that when you look at what you’ve done, you can see the paths you’ve walked and the tripwires you’ve triggered. The dust of explosions and the ringing in your ears will eventually fade, but the holes in the ground won’t cover themselves up.

If you don’t understand what is happening here, read it again from your own self critical view, and put yourself in the narrative. You’ll soon catch on. I just wish hindsight was foreseeable! But after all, it does make geniuses of us all doesn’t it?

Published by dec247h

Ex soldier, father, party girl and generally nice guy taking time out to do as he pleases! one day i will make it back to the UK, but i aint in a hurry!

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