Sunday, and what a beautiful sunny happy shiny day it was too. From the moment I awoke bathing in the warmth of the summer heat streaming through my slatted windows, the smell of fresh cut grass wafting through the rooms seeking out any and every crevice, permeating my clothes, turning my inside world into an outside world. If only those fucking kids would stop screaming it would be an almost tranquil start.
Anyhoo! Apart from wishing mutism on those noisy fuckers, I had a plan. A plan that would encompass the full day, a day that would see me complete each and every task I set myself in plenty of time so I could sit back and watch the British Grand Prix with a cold glass of pop And a chocolate biscuit. It all went wrong around ten minutes after I got out of bed really. Breakfast made, I sat on my couch and started to watch a bit of ‘Saturday kitchen, Sundays best bits’ I woke up two hours later! My fucking couch is my new time machine.
Either Tynemouth fair or Morpeth Fair beckoned today, as I was far too late for Tynemouth, I strapped my panniers to BigRed and set off for Morpeth (fully intent o enjoying a free burger, an ice cream and a cheeky bit of shopping on the way home) the Main Street was heaving with families, all milling around, aimlessly, popping in and out of shops so I thought I would watch them for a while to see where they were going (I didn’t know where this fair was being held) as I watched, I realised that if you have a child, don’t feed them everything they want as it tends to make their legs resemble bananas (think about it) and if that happens, DO NOT let them wear skin tight tops, as they will look like caterpillars, very VERY hungry fat bastard caterpillars. Whinging that they want food, whinging that they are too hot, whinging that they are tired! Generally just whinging!
(I shall take this opportunity to apologise to the old woman who pulled out of the side road in Ashington this morning as I was passing by, I forgot I had left me left winker on…OOPS!!)