Road to fucking hell!!!!

As days go, this is definitely one. I had to get out on me bike as the weather is going to break soon (then no one will be playing out). My first order was to visit Benicia (the lovely folk who have given me my place to live) as all of the residents around my area received a letter from Northumbrian council stating that a complaint had been made about people visiting the local hospital and parking around the roads (because the hospital charges the price of a diamond ring to visit your sick and dying relatives) so a councillor (who’s friend is obviously one of the aggrieved) has taken the stance of polling the people to see if they would be happy to pay £15 a year (per vehicle) for the privilege of parking outside your own house! Would YOU? Really? So a trip to the local council after Benicia pointed me in the right direction! (My Facebook page will be taking up this mission soon) and heads WILL roll. 


My next mission was to get to Cramlington for a bite to eat at one of me classmates coffee shops! A lovely toaster and soup later I was fulfilled. Not until I walked along a path through the car park did I unleash the talons of retribution. You may have seen on my FB page my rant. If you didn’t, well let me regale you. As I walked along said path, a young mother (with her child in the back seated her car) started to reverse out of her parking space (no corners, no funny angles no obstruction) as she continued to reverse (facing forward) she failed to see the young lad on his motorbike come along. Now, this simpleton of a mother had her offspring with her (so you would think caution would be to the fore of her mind) I screamed at this twat to stop and I pointed to the biker who had to brake rather sharp (causing him to nearly come off his bike into the path of another vehicle coming the other way). This gormless (thick as fuck) driver didn’t have a fucking clue! And as I got her attention, she looked at me through vacant eyes not knowing what the problem had been. I colourfully taught her a life lesson and wished her a merry onwards journey (😳) cunt!


After I left my trolley of shopping in the local Sainsbury’s (I wanted to set fire to various people in that shop) I decided that Morpeth may be a better place to do some wandering! Wrong! Very VERY wrong! No sooner had I got there than an old (doddery old bastard) bloke in a Range Rover decided that he knew better at a roundabout (give way to the right????? No not this twat) so I kept my finger on the horn as I nearly hit his door with the front of me bike, I followed him into the car park where I DID hit his door, but with my boot his time! Fuck him, imbasile! I parked up and went to cross the Santa crossing only to have a car coming from my right to stop, but a fucking ‘Nova’ filled with Justine Beiber fucking lookalike arseholes speed up and screech across the crossing (I wasn’t the only one on it) my middle finger raised itself and I shouted my dismay at this cockthistles actions. To my merriment I saw his brake lights come on (my day was gonna get better) he looked at me through his door mirror as his friends looked through the back window as I stood on the crossing glaring in their direction,(fuck it) I started to walk up the road to confront these dick tips and they sped off at a rapid rate of knots!!!! I fucking hate Christmas!!

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