Let’s get physical!

Wtf have I started here? Day one! DAY ONE! In the gym and a fucking kicking with the spinny bike, the rowy machine, the runny machine, the weighty bars and the sit-up mat (with steppy ups and raisy arm bars to boot) Needless to say I threw myself into it as hard as I could, and THAT was my downfall. I found out that if you pedal you’re bollocks off on a spinny thing, then you can’t actually raise your legs to get your feet into the rowy contraption! I HATE PE.

You may notice that we are all wearing PINK, and I’m the only GUY in the team! (Although I do have the loveliest hair) and you would naturally assume that I would have the advantage of strength, well let me tell you, I was fooked after 10 minutes of gym dancing! And when I say dancing, I mean dying! Grunting and groaning, breathing out my arse and aggressive yelling (and that was only trying to open the fucking gym door) it was going to be a hard day!

A more leasurly approach was taken after lunch! A light lunch. A piggin salad (I couldn’t face a curry) so a round of pitch and putt, then a snooker type rebound skill game with gold bats. Well, another sport I’m shit at! I may as well have used a stiff flamingo than the stick I had. And hedgehogs for balls may have been easier to aim! But no matter, it was calm, sedate and less hurries than the gym. Then it rained! (Do you think rain stopped play?) 


No advantage whatsoever was gained by having two legs! We were all dogshit. But it’s not the winning, it’s the laughing at those who can’t hit shit for toffee that matters! So as we totes up the scores it was evident that this was only a filler in the programme (just so they could rearrange the gym for the evening activities) BOCCIA

No idea! Don’t know if I spelt it right! Don’t know how to pronounce it and don’t know where it came from, but it’s fun. A bit like a cross between lawn bowls , French boules and pool. Google it, it may make sense, but until we actually played it, I couldn’t understand the rules. Anyhoo! That’s the conclusion of the activities for today DAY ONE! If I wake up tomorrow, I will start my day with swimming!!!!!! Oh fuck! Wish me luck x


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