Friday, oh it’s Friday and guess where I am. No, I’m not in Catterick with H4H, I’m not in another country nor on the coast. I’m back at my old haunt, the ‘Central Bean’ coffee shop in Morpeth. The reason? I have an appointment with a trick cyclist (haven’t had one of them for ages, well not a civilian one anyway) so today I ride back to my roots (of blogging in a coffee shop). However! My journey here was still fraught with danger at every turn (or at least every fucking straight piece of road where arseholes in a BMW think they are Damon Fucking Hill)
Exhibit one, your honour! Take this shit speckled dick tip of a driver, SHE (and I text that with a heavy heart) she, decided that with the whole of the carpark (and believe me, it’s a HUGE car park) that she would be happier parking on a fucking junction! Now you may think sometimes I make shit up just for a laugh and something to post, but look, just look! Without a care for anyone else in a vehicle she did this. Now it could be that she was just thick as pig shit, or that she saw what looked like a parking space and had that! Either way, shes as think as pigshit!
Before I shank the Z4 driver for failing to use those backwards facing shiny things on his wings, I will regale you with my antics on the geeetar front. As you can see here, it no longer resembles a block of wood, it now looks like a block of wood that some cack handed mental patient has had the audacity to whittle away into something resembling a musical instrument. It took me over an hour just to get it this blunt and I know i have at least three more hours whittling. After this picture was taken, it was placed over to the router and had a channel made for the truss rid to fit (I wish it was a bendy truss rod to match the channel, but never mind eh!)
Anyhoo! Woodwork and burning rubber aside, it’s been a different kind of couple of days! (I’m still looking at the packing list for next week and wondering where the fuck am I putting it on Bug Red?) I’m supposed to be freewheelin to Crofton today, ar the moment I can’t see past this appointment! Oh the Z3? As I was making my approach to the morpeth roundabout (past the bridge after the fire station) I had the chance to wind it on (with a clear road ahead) so I indicated, waited the appropriate amount of time to execute the manoeuvre then pulled out to over take this limp wristed penis kissing nob jockey. As I got up to his hind quarter, the camel toe decided to use the fucking force and pulled out into my path! (Big Red has got some fucking awesome brakes). Eventually starting my heart again, it came to pass that I followed the tube into a carpark. As I articulated my displeasure, the door opened and a supermodel unfolded from the drivers seat. Looking at me as though I had stolen a day pass from the local nut house, I deflated and inquired if she had been to the optition recently! Still looking vacant, I realised this wasn’t going to work. So I decided to take my wrath out on the Vodafone shop for sending me a bill as long as a fucking Pelicans!(coffee and a relax methinks for now)