Something for the weekend sir?

The weekend started there (not here) but way over there, you know, where the cool kids are. For me it began with a sore stomach and cramps (due only to eating an Indian supper way too fast and slovenly) a couple of glasses of good old Coke (no Jack) sorted me out with a bubble of wind that didn’t so much as pop, but vented out of every pore in my skin over the period of the night! I was like a broken Hindenburg waiting to explode and cause havoc with a film crew!  
But this morning heralded a new day! The sun bleached through the blinds awakening me from my deep slumber AT SIX O FUCKING CLOCK. On a Saturday! Why? Just why? My plans for a late breakfast but the dust as I decided I had no choice but to get my arse out of bed and do the dishes! And I did the dishes ALL the dishes! Taking them from their hidey hole I went all OCD on their asses! (Noooooo) then a breakfast (cleaning the crockery again) then I needed to get out the kitchen. To the bike mobile! 

  This time I made it all the way to Alnwick! The weather ain’t summer but it’s nice enough for a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich outside in the fresh (bracing?) air. People watching at its most intimate. A market (really?) selling the same old shit as every other crap market around here! It only seems this one is a tad more expensive! The people wandering around seem not to herald from around these parts, with foreign tongues abounding, Yorkshire, Lancashire, middle earth! You know the type. But they have a spare sackful of money to spend from the grey pound clan! (I’ll not be buying any Uggs today)  

 When I get back to civilisation (with WIFI that works- remember my rant the other day about the lack of useful technology?) I will look back through this text and see if it makes any sense! As the weather has changed its mind quicker than a Sith Lord my fingers are now frozen! (I feel like Elsa having a breakdown) 

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