Frost! Freezing frost at that! It’s bloody cold freezing frost and if course I neglected to heed me own advice and spread Vaseline on all me door seals so they won’t freeze shut! AND I just didn’t want to see sense and put said vandalise in me fuel filler cap lock to stop that freezing too! If anyone is reading this, please, take my advice and don’t get stranded like a dick at the fuel station like I did this morning! It’s when I got me cigarette lighter out me car and started hearing me key up that the folk around me started to look worried about what I was going to set fire to.
Well I suppose once I got home again to boil a kettle and dunk me key in it for a couple of minutes, I realised the folly of me ways! I shall plug every hole with Vaseline tonight (really, you thought that?) it’s when I got me key out ready to try again that I realised it was fucking hot! I dropped said key on the ground (well I say on the ground, it was actually down a drain, a deep drain, a deep drain that was luckily filled with water and luckily the water was frozen on top so it wasn’t too difficult to retrieve with a magnet and a bit of string! FFS!
Getting back to the garage again ready to brim the tank, I waited and waited in a pointless queue (why doesn’t that look right?) it turned out these people were waiting for water and hoovers and shit! Ashington For Fuck Sake! Now my mood was levelling off at ‘Poker’Hot I decided to used the wrong set of pumps, (just to wind up the others) unfortunately someone had beat me to it! The actual handle was covered in diesel and stank to high heavens, (I didn’t realise until I had grabbed it) so now my steering wheel stinks, my door handle stinks and my passenger seat stinks ( I wasn’t going to wipe it on meself)
My Sunday had now turned into a washing day (for not if me kit AND me car) after a coffee of course, and I may go to the pictures to see what’s on! So if you’re having a lovely lazy Sunday, well done! Try not to get too stressed doing anything pointless or stupid (although I know a lot of you will)