Help for Heros

That’s it, I’m home. Course done,  people met, contacts made and friendships forged! Possibly a turning point in my wandering and ramblings! And as I now know, there’s a bloody H4H centre in Catterick! No one told me and to be honest, I never asked! Oh well not to worry, I know now 🙂

The journey home was a bit fraught with peril, a lot of peril. In fact, if you have a moment, it was as perilous as a python with anxiety whilst giving you a cuddle just as an electric storm is about to start! I made it 50 miles until my eyelids closed while I got onto the M5. The first few seconds of slumber were stripped from me as the rumble strips bounces me back into the proper lane! To say I shat meself would be an understatement! I would blame the hot rock massage I was given before I left the house, but that’s just hiding the fact I was absolutely buggered! So an hour or so nap in a service station beconed! 

Important shit needed to be sorted when I eventually got into the north (after a stop over at me mates of course). As I am attending ANOTHER screening of the new Star Wars, I needed to find out if it was ok to play dress up in Cramlington. The cinema said no problem, as long as I hand the blaster to the manager while the film is playing(no dramas, too many shootings in cinemas of late, not too many by storm trooper with a plastic toy, but no matter) I was happy enough with that, what was difficult to comprehend, was the attitude of ‘Manor Walks’ shopping precinct.

I could take the point of the weapon (a space gun) but when I was told that this guy (not even a manager, just some fat old buttfuck of a jobsworth security guard) didn’t want anyone in costume walking theough’HIS’ mall, I just thought ‘fuck him’ honestly, the guy just barrelled over whatever the duty manager was saying and I just wanted to slap them both. One for being a waste of rations, and the other for being a soft shite! So I will find my way AROUND the mall! Cunts!

So all in all, nutters in the south good, tubby mcfatfucks in the north, shite. I do honestly take the point about the weapon (wasn’t i arrested for this sort of thing years ago?) but I just hope the fat cunt, the fat cunt, the fat controller has an embolism for Christmas! I don’t think anyone would miss him! Merry fucking Christmas crambodia

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