Aren’t you something? An original.

Crambodia: a new craze seems to be seeping this little enclave of ugliness! As you walk around the moving roundabouts and negotiate the battery driven skeleton carriers, you are awash with folk talking into their purses and wallets! Watching them at first I thought they all had a secret stash of Greggs pasties in them, but on closer scrutiny , they all appeared to be phones. So the phones they but could be the latest hi tech smart mothers around, but they still manage to make them look as stupid as they actually are! Now if YOU do this with your iPhone or galaxy, you know what others think! And no, it’s not just me!   
Asghanistan: no wallets or purses here! No money! But still everyone has the latest phone, or knock off phone, or stolen phone, or pasty! Mainly pasties from,……you guessed it, Greggs! I was wandering why the height to weight ratio was so drastically different from “Tubby” then I realised its one of two reasons! Either no money for food or too much heroin in their systems! (You ever see a fat junkie?). As I may have lamented last time, only one shop sold poppies yesterday in Morpeth, both Crambodia and Asghanistan have a deluge of veterans, shops, stalls all selling poppies and stuff (mind you I don’t know how many are actually legit)

  
Blyth as a kite: Now we have all heard the stories of a bygone age revolving around the son of the former mayor of this place. Bloody big drug dealer/ taker/ whatever, but it just showed anyone can be seized by the ravages of the white stuff! As I quickly drive through this one horse town (you don’t drive slow less you want your insurance to be invalidated) I notice a new stick of characters! Smokers! Yes smokers, old/ young/ male / female and other genders! All puffing away on cancer sticks having a happy drag. Dressed in flannelette hoodies and ‘tracky’ bottoms (again never to have graced a gym) they meander the town centre like the cast of the walking dead, looking for anyone who looks as though they could gain sustenance from! I.e mugging some unsuspecting loiterer! 

  
My odyssey ended, my home beckons, my brothers mixing desk laid bare on my kitchen table so I can try and repair it! (Not hard really) till next time! 


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