Morpeth. November 5. 2015. Just making sure the date will remain on this post for me to see in the future. My reason for this type of beginning is simply because I have been wandering around the market town of Morpeth (an affluent town of stature) and ONE shop sells poppies…… Count em ONE……….. Nothing! Even the Salvation Army have a shelf of emptiness!!! Really! Morpeth! Old folk! Veterans? (If anyone has any ideas of where they may sell them, feel red to comment and put me right)
I bought this from an elderly veteran in Crambodia the other day, along with a car poppy and a paper poppy AND a ceramic affair too! In my haste to keep warm today, I put on me H4H top and forgot it had no poppy pinned to it (every bloody thing else has, even me car……..and me bike!) talking of bikes, I wombled into Halfords today and spied a tremendous offer on a tredder (pushbike to you lot) so as soon as it gets delivered, I start my body reshaping regime.
Walking down Ashghanistan today too! (See above) the streets were paved with chewing gum and Greggs bags (their contents obviously devoured by the toddlers in prams). I needed to change my circumstances with the council so they can screw me….Erm help me out with the ever rising costs of an Englishman living in England! (I won’t rant about the obvious, as that will lead to hypocrisy, and that’s a pickwickian word (made up! therefore meaningless where I’m concerned)). The girls in the offices couldn’t be more helpful if they tried, it gave me a great swell of pride that we are being lead by bastions of honesty such as these (watch me get fucked)
Talking of getting fucked! I decided to act upon my speeding fine today (my new licence is back with a new address on, a bit thinner and cheaper plastic though) so it was with great sadness I ventured forth into the post office for a postal order! £12 she said without even a hint of a grin. So off to my bank! £15 for a bankers cheque, I’ll ask for one from them, oh no, my account isn’t the type! So can I have the correct type, no you can’t! All I want is a cheque book! Now I have relented and skulked back to the post office! £12 for the privilege of losing £100 but on the plus side, I gain 3 points 🤔