Catching up online with stories and status from everyone on your friends page. Some of them you will never meet, but a majority of them have made some sort of impression on your existence! The odd one or two will never be off your list as they are the ones who you know properly (one way or another) it’s strange how insular one can get with age (and technology) family and close by friends fill up your real time life while journeys have to be planned to see the others you know. Foreign lands are no barriers anymore as travel has become more affordable, but travel itself has become more troublesome with the alert level rising every minute. Take your shoes off, switch that phone ON, put your liquids in a se through bag. You know, paranoia in the ‘Free World’ that everyone is a terrorist!
I find myself wanting to travel into Europe, to ride around the Baltic Sea and visit all those countries you read about. But now we are being spun the thread that Russia wants to get some of these places back under its control! So the threat level rises. Israel beacons but travel their is fraught with government advice on how to get there and the probability that you will become radicalised before you get off the plane. Even France is filled with, warm, well French. But that only begs the question where is safe? When I was in the military, we didn’t care where was safe because everyone wanted us dead! But now I have no army behind me, and no rifle to use, I see the world through civilian eyes. Yes all those brave people who have lived in a country where shootings and bombings have happened will sprout off that you shouldn’t let it worry you. Well, when the darkness falls and the acrid smell of explosives (improvised or not) fills your nostrils and the double ‘Ftoom’ you hear meaning someone has died echoes in your ears! Tell me it’s nothing to worry about. And when you have experienced that for a year and a half in total. With unrelenting enemies wanting you gone, then you can relate your tales of woe to me.
This wasn’t supposed to be a self indulged rant, but it sure as hell turned out that way. I was having a great day, carpets measured, HID bulbs delivered, cup of earl grey in hand, everything is really good! So why the sudden dark cloud? I don’t know, but I DO know I needed to write it down as I skirted over the storm looking into the sinking depression residing in the middle. Does this mean I have reached a point where I can decide which way to go in a given situation instead of heading for the easiest out? (My therapist will say yes it is) but I see it as questioning myself as to why the fleeting slide into the clouds? Oh well, onwards and upwards! As I’ve said for an age, these missives serve as a barometer for my moods, as an indication of how I feel on a given day. Following the curve of history it rises and falls as the waves in the ocean. But instead of the wind making waves, it’s something else (when I find out, I’ll let you know)