Today! Where to start with today? I suppose I could try the beginning, half past four IN THE AM!! Now sleep is starting to elude me somewhat more than normal, I’m actually looking at the bright side and realising I will have more time to do fuck all! No to be honest, it gives me more time to appreciate my bed as there is no friggin way I’m getting out the woolly mammoth for no reason! So, today! Early start! Head full of snot, throat full of phlegm, coughing and a barking (it’s as if I’ve never stopped smoking) I knew I had to make the trek over to Whitley bay to pick something up! What I didn’t realise is that without your own transport, Ulesseys could have made the journey quicker (bit of history there) NEVER AGAIN
Bus station and seats that have strange unidentifiable marks embedded in them, typical asghanistan public transport travellers (I’m not condemning anyone for use of busses, just pikey bastards with their hands down their pants, hats on backwards and can of “Monster” glued to their lips!) and old people! And screaming kids, and cackling hormonal spotty girls with ripped jeans texting the friend in the next seat! As busses go, I hated this one even though it was a means to an end (oh how mislead was I?) the end was supposed to be near the ice rink. The actual end was frikkin Tyneside.
Tyneside on a bus! My heart bled, my head pounded, my nerves frayed this was not the experience I was promised! The driver must have decided, off his own back, to stop at EVERY bus stop from Ashington to Tyneside (with a few more thrown in just for jolly) the distinct waft of ‘accessorise’ perfume permeated my very soul! It added to the now vicelike headache felt I’m my brain! I couldn’t even get my bearings so I had no idea how long I had left of this torture! It seemed like days! Weeks, no months that I was stuck on this thing (not even the ones with WIFI)
Eventually I made my escape! I spied a metro station and went for it! Pinging the bell I jumped from my seat and all but sprinted down the isle! Not a clue where this station was, nor did I know where it went! (Not being an aficionado of the metro link or nothing). To be honest I can’t remember the last time I set foot on one of these smarties tubes! Again I’ll vow NEVER AGAIN! Crushed into a pipe filled with even more perfume and hormones, no where to move no window to open, if I could have held my breathe for the entire “8 min” journey, I would have! It was apparent I had got on the wrong train when the first station came up! So off I trotted onto the adjoining one to travel back in the direction I had just bloody travelled! More olfactory’ orrors! (My day just darkened)
Finally! Whitley bay! Well somewhere in Whitley bay (I’ve never been to the station there either so it was with pure luck I ended up on a street I recognised! So pubic (yes pubic) transport had endeavoured to destroy my resolve today, it was ‘Siri’s’ turn. I knew the ice rink was somewhere within walking distance (I nearly hailed a cab, but you know what! There’s NONE in that part of town on a Saturday! Waiting for fucking maps to download (I love 4G) I gave her the name of the place I needed to visit! She found it, oh my word it didn’t look far away at all! Putting my walking head on I meandered along the path, then I meandered back because I was going the totally wrong way! (My fault, not Siri’s). Recognisable buildings came into view and confidence raised itself from the pits of Hades! I was going to get to my final destination at last! Now I’m sitting in ‘Frankie and Benny’s’ after my disastrous detours around the north. I picked up my object from Whitley bay, and got back to Crambodia the long way! Meat and coffee to satiate my lusts and get rid of me headache. Nope headache still here! And I feel I need the toilet now! Oh dear! No change there then 😌