Of course it’s bloody Thursday! Why would it be a day where, when I really REALLY fancied fish and chips when it could conspire to wind me up? I thought, nay, hopes it was Friday today. A rude out, some sun on me face, and fish and chips! Well two out of three ain’t what I ordered so bugger it. Pie and chips instead. Tomorrow I will return. Anyway, today… Walking this bad back off (yes, I’m a wuss) I have noticed several things. First, I walk really slow. No wonder people seem to run off from me, second, when the schools are in session, the streets seem a hell of a lot quieter, and safer (until three thirty) but I still despair at the amount of chunder buddies kicking around. You know the type, puzzined white socks tucking in knocked off tracky bottoms. With a faux Tommy HillFINGER jumper topped off by a flat cap, or the more flamboyant baseball cap so high up the head they look like George doors (now there’s a blast from the past)
Oh, just for jollies, me face has decided it don’t want to be 46 anymore, it wants to be a teenager and give me spots! Now the last real spot I had must have been quite a while ago as I haven’t had the pleasure of a good squeeze in years. This one however, it looks back at me from the mirror (it will need its own soon) and laughs at my attempts to disguise it. I’ve tried elastetplast, I’ve tried a balaclava, I’ve even tried pink paint all to no avail. I have now purchased some tee tree stuff with added witch hazel (thanks for the recommend Emma) and have applied it liberally to Bernard (that’s his name) unfortunately it looks like I have a lipstick in me pocket (no dog nob jokes) and I look like a very badly photoshopped image of meself.
The blue eyes look cute though. Today I have also managed to get on Rimmer for a ride out and have only had three or four near misses due to old people who shouldn’t be in the roads, but hey, they ain’t got me YET. This cafe is starting to fill up now with mums and kids from school looking for a cramp alternative to making them a tea at tea time. I did hear one ‘Augustus ‘ ask her podgy offspring if she wanted to go to Macdonalds instead. Of course chubby Mac fat F### smiled inanely and nodded her head nearly to the point of it falling into her belly! Now I know all kiss ain’t like this and I know everyone will make excuses for the weight of their womb raiders, but of all the kids I actually know, NONE are portly. So it’s cheap food and no exercises all the way for some of the poor unfortunate lumps. On that note, I shall bid you adieu and have probably lost a couple of readers from those last remarks. Oh well! More pie for me 🙂