Scared beyond belief, way down in the shadows 

What an emotional roller coaster I found myself strapped to tonight (last night). Happily making homemade custard in me kitchen, to go with me homemade brioche and butter pudding, (I didn’t make the butter, but I could have) all of a sudden me whisk, me hand whisk moved across the bowl by itself, now I know you may think that it could do that anyway as its round and the bowl is round, but unfortunately, the bowl was filled with eggs and sugar mixed to a thick consistency. Now not to be outdone by simple kitchen implements, my kitchen decided to join in by opening a draw! Cold chills ran around my body and at one point I asked who was there. Have you ever had your entire scalp go numb, not just your head, but your hair too. I couldn’t feel a thing as my skin tightened. This is when the huge wave of emotion (more like a tsunami) washed over me. I fell apart. Literally fell apart in me kitchen, sobbing like a scolded child, sadness inside, sorrow everything!!!!! As I stood/ slumped in tears, someone kissed me! Well that was it for me. THAT was me mam! And I know me dad was there too, hiding in the hallway so not to scare me (!). Before the whisk made its move, I was listening to me iPhone music from the 80’s, all pop and new romantic. But as my night took its spectral turn, I noticed (in retrospect) that all the songs took on the more poignant note of thoughtfulness, remembrance and love for family!!!! Spooked at first, then positively scared ( I remember once being scared stiff, so scared actually, I physically couldn’t move for hours, oh this didn’t enhance my relationship with my then girlfriends parents who had to stay with me until the morning) then emotional, then calmed then happily thoughtful.   
That was the most thought about custard I’ve made EVER, tasted nice though (I wasn’t going to eat any tonight, but I deserved a spoonful for the trouble I had). Throughout my ordeal, I was in constant chat mode with my girlfriend, she was, in fact, going through this night with me. At one point she said she wished she was here to hold me. I had to tell her someone was already here doing just that! At this juncture, I felt love, pure love for all around me. (Is this going all strange and hippy like?) it was positively one of my weirdest nights, but I got to make a pudding AND custard while filling up with emotion (I do hope it tastes good) 

 
On an aside to this ghostly gathering in me kitchen, I played badminton with me brother earlier on and the court just happened to be next to the karate class. Now all their shouting didn’t help my demure in the first place. A few “Harigoshis (it could even have been Haribos, I don’t know what they yell when they punch the air) made me miss a few easy shots, but a stomped his arse anyway. Mind you, the first set lasted over half an hour ( these games are getting quicker, but taking longer now!!!!) and the fitness levels they are taking us are getting harder, then easier (if you get what I mean)  

 
So I thought it was going to be a relatively boring night after badminton (I won’t make that frikkin mistake again) so I will round this off by saying to anyone who has lost someone, don’t worry about them, they are with you and they are there when you need them 🙂 I’ll post this in the morning, then back to normal jogging later through the day 🙂 

Published by dec247h

Ex soldier, father, party girl and generally nice guy taking time out to do as he pleases! one day i will make it back to the UK, but i aint in a hurry!

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