Get into that kitchen and rattle those pots and pans

Allow me a little divergence tray please. Now normally I would take a trip, have a rant, take a few pics and string them all together into some sort of coherent saga. Today I have mostly been in my kitchen. I went outside once this morning and got blown straight back upstairs. (Looking for a witch on a bike now) so. Thought I would make something interesting and take photos as I went on. Unfortunately, I forgot to start at the beginning, so the  actual filling isn’t documented. But believe me it’s lovely. Let’s start with a description of the methods (I’m not a celebrity chef or a culenary genius, I just like different foods made from scratch)

  
I know the first picture has nothing to do with the cooking, but as I said I forgot the beginning. Step one- making the filling. Well it’s only mushrooms, onions and garlic (all cut to bits in me hand blender thingy) frying them off in butter and olive oil (with a splash of lemon) yup. That was that. I left it to cool, and to be honest, I forgot all about it. So after a cup of tea, a biscuit and a couple of episodes of ‘The Big Bang Theory’ I suddenly thought there was something in me oven.

  
There wasn’t! So I got everything together that I needed (?) flour, eggs and all the kitchen shite I had. (Well my scales, a hand blender and a pasta machine) weighing out 200 Grams of Double 0 flour (I have no idea what that is) and two eggs I now knew I needed a bowl (I didn’t want to make a mess of me kitchen bench again like last time) now I did take photos of that bit but on transferring them, I lost them, honest Guv. But just imagine a well in the middle of a mound of flour with two eggs nestling like two unborn chickens! Anyway, as I didn’t want a mess (anywhere) I used a fork, then decided me whisk was better, then me hand (I should’ve just used them in the first place) well, after a load of finger cleaning and cursing later I had the dough ball needed. Cling film and five minutes in the fridge later, I had a good pasta start.

  
 

Pasta rolling on the machine starting with number one, then two then three then… Well you get the idea. On eight you put the end of the ribbon back into the machine to connect to the other end giving it a fan belt look as you spin the handle. Two more thickness (or thinness) settings and the pasta was getting a little long. Starting to worry I was going to run out of bench, I decided to quit while I was ahead. I think I had enough sheets, if I had too many, I could make a lasagne another time. Cutting it down to size (big enough to take four or five spoonfuls of filling) I started to fill the little pillows.

  
Folding the pasta over (after brushing the end with egg of course) I made sure there were no air pockets within the shape. (At first there was, as its one piece of pasta, you squeeze air out of one and it goes straight into its neighbour, (fucking science)). Once I reflected my method (third sheet) I realised it’s easier if you just fold it over and squeeze one at a time then cut it with a biscuit cutter. Then move onto the next one. 

  
Look how they’re are cut. If you make a circle, the shape will be all screwed! Just to make sure a lightly squished the edges so they don’t leak in the pan. (And don’t forget to flour the bench otherwise they stick and all the insides fall out anyway) 

  
Now shape the buggers, pull up the outsides and give the back a little squeeze together. They WILL stay together. Now you have tortellini! (Again when you put them on a plate before cooking……PUT SOME FLOUR on it. I damaged three of them at this stage.

  Look good don’t they, I actually impressed meself. Have a pan of boiling wate (really boiling)  then give them a three minute bath. Use a slotted (or holy) spoon to get them out and stick them in a bowl ready for a sauce or a dressing or whatever you want.

  
I made me dressing by roasting hazelnuts, frying some pine nuts in butter and adding water and herbs with a little lemon. Sprinkled on top and a glass of vino in hand. I’m happy with my meal. The ones that are left can be put away in the fridge for another time, honestly give it a go, it’s easy. I know I haven’t ranted today, but I thought I may be able to help in the kitchen instead of using packaged this and tinned that. Eat well and Healthy guys 😀


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