Not the Normal day to day rants and thoughts, just something I had to get out there with, read nothing into it apart from the words.
I strive to be the best I can, I almost feel sometimes as though it has to be so good that we call this state “perfection” I know of course I will never reach that level of psyche, never attain the glow of sainthood so readily and easily expected of others. I have never had the audacity to cast the first stone, because I am weighed down with sin! (I’m not going all religious here) but who am I to tread on the corpses of lesser mortals (arrogance assures us this to be true) be are there lesser mortals? Can we truly state that I am better than him, or they are better than them? Of course we can’t! How dare we? We are all created equal (apparently) just some more equal than others. I for one, am not an equal to the Governments who are dealing swiftly and vengefully with the peoples of the world who stand up to the brutality of oppression. (Now it sounds as though I’m going all political) but I’m not! I’m talking with my head and my heart in unison for once.
You have Russia and Ukraine, you have Israel and Palestine you have warring factions in Africa, the Far East, the Middle East, within sight of Europe, just about everywhere thee are minorities being targeted by someone or other for some reason that they alone can justify, Is it that we have been bred to fight? Genetically modified from the original apes to become the armies of beings unknown? (An old ‘Twilight Zone’ episode there) or is it that we are heading into something else?
Russia flexing it’s muscles (or is it Putin alone?), Israel doing as it pleases with no opposition (words don’t count), Syria killing it’s own and others for a cause? What cause? ISIS rolling into Iraq. Cambodians dying (you don’t here much about that government) has it all gone mad just at the time I’m looking down the barrel of a water pistol trying to put my own life back together after my former employers took it apart (not fair as I actually volunteered for everything I did) but to be used and abused then left hanging is a bit hard to swallow (unlike the pills they make you take to deal with it)
see new life appear everyday, I see new hopes and dreams emerge from the worst possible places, I see a future where I’m not in it eventually, (everyone dies) so do my emotions and thoughts and reactions and feelings actually matter in this world? If I get the chance to enlighten people either through words, pictures actions or whatever, then at least that small part of what I was made from might live a little longer in the world. Our children are extensions of ourselves (yet they will become themselves in time) but for the briefest of moments, we are in someone else’s hearts though maybe not in there heads. (Never get into someone’s head, that’s not good)
Reading back through this missive, I can see it looks a little edgy and confusing, but don’t worry, I just needed to get things written down as I feel them (a suggestion by someone who could be of some benefit AND help to my being) normal services will be resumed as soon as possible, (when I get some photographs of the places in Ashington that lend themselves to a bit of sparkle)
I feel a book, (poems, missives, thoughts) being constructed in my mind (hmm, Dr Zuess watch out with those green eggs and ham.) but I don’t know how it starts. So I’ll keep that and possibly this on a back burner for a while to see how it goes! (Oh who am I kidding, this is getting posted)