Now I’ve been to Scotland many many times, but I’ve NEVER seen the sun here, well I might have witnessed daylight, but if the sun was out in force today ( and had a couple of mates it would have brought them along too). It was glorious. I. Fact the shops had sold out of sun cream (a rarity in these parts unless they have a n alcohol value) I’m not being too racist, but the bodies that were out in the heat wave today were actually reflecting the light back at the skies. (I suggest a lot of hospital beds may be filled with pink persons tonight) AND it’s set to continue for a while!!!! Piz Buin would have a field day if it wasn’t so expensive.
The first order of the day was fish and chips, you gotta have fish and chips at the sea side, what you don’t gotta have is frozen chips and tesco fish! Honestly, they weren’t entirely a let down, but I wanted REAL fish and chips. In the chippy they had three young girls searching and if I was the owner I would have sacked them over and over because of the lack of anything really, as soon as the guy turned his back they were on their phones face booking, texting and generally doing nothing chippy wise. We were going to sit in the park, but It was decided to sit on the metal table and chairs outside in the (no) shaded area. One of the guys started to melt so he was lathered in sun cream, (that melted too) so he went into town to find shade. Myself and another went onto the beach and found a spot to lay down (for a couple of hours (another time machine))
It was then (after a little sleep actually) that I realised the only thing I could here (apart from the friggin seagulls) were jockanese matriarchs shouting (at the top of their gruff voices) to their wayward offspring so they could find their way back to the nest. (When I say nest, I MEAN nest) food, drink, blankets, toys, TV, cooker, settees) I jest with a couple of those, but the queens were perched on camping chairs to oversee their brood. This obviously didn’t help ALL of these behemoths as one small child wandered around crying for mum. Eventually the mother next to us took her by the hand and wandered with her (for an hour!) I would have found a peeler and handed her in. After numerous treks along the beach, the mother (or carer) was found. (I say carer because…….) she told me that there were about twenty adult with a load of kids, they had found this girl, but were now missing two small boys!!!!!!!
Finally the sun had made it’s point and had began to beat me from the sand. My head was light and dizzy, my eyes were spinning and my stomach needed evacuating (not the best fish and chips then) heading into town to pick up our melter, we found ourselves in “Neros’ again, one of our favourite haunts in Ayr. So a large hot chocolate (yes warm drinks on a warm day) and a toilet explosion and we were off to HBH. Tea time saw me get a large plate of salad, (I didn’t order this) but it was given to me anyway. Oh it tasted good, even better when someone else whined like a big kid and cried because ‘someone’s ate my dinner’ I didn’t care, I still don’t lol. He got one eventually, but men are just like big kids in the playground.
It’s “D” day tomorrow, two nights three days away (travel) for an hours interview, honestly I’m not raging anymore, but at least I’ve got to see me old mad marras again, god bless em all! No doubt I’ll be in no mans land in the afternoon so internet will be a distant memory. I’ll try to take many pictures of the beautiful countryside I pass through (or at least get a Buckfast guy in the frame) so for all of you with faith, keep it, for all those without, try it, and for all those like me, Fuck it!