Now i thought i would give this a bit of a go, a bit different to my usual ranting or debating about the stupidity of human kind and a little more self soothing (well not really self soothing, more self assessment) lets give it a whirl and see what i come up with, if it turns out that i haven’t the flare for non fiction, or romance, then ill give it up as a lost cause. (ill probably return to it in a year or so and claim its all new and i should try a departure again (thats the power of the Post Traumatic mind lol))
I looked out my window this morning and realised the sky was the same as the one over Sinai, or Cyprus, or Hungary or Iraq or Afghanistan or Canada or America or Africa or any of the places I’ve ever had the fortune to visit. in fact its the same sky as EVERYWHERE on this lil old planet of ours.So when i start to wish i was somewhere else, I’m only moving the ground beneath my feet, its the people that count, the friends, acquaintances, family, even the local shop keeper who says hello as you wander past.
I left my home town around 18-19 years ago and vowed never to return. well the apple never falls far from the tree as they say. well i fell off mine and rolled around for a while, but like the prodigal son, i returned to take my place amongst the wretched and the unwashed (no i don’t mean that folk from Ashington, unless you are wretched and unwashed, then i do mean it) as my adventures around the globe (both military and civilian) have shaped who i am today, i would love to be able to pass some of that learning on to others, whether its my family, friends etc etc, as if i didn’t tun the travels would be a waste of time really wouldn’t they. i mean we all have the urge to bugger off for two weeks holiday to get a tan and unwind, recharge and ready ourselves for the great rat race again. (unless you are wealthy enough to not have to, or too stuck up your own arse to get off it and actually do something). my life isn’t brilliant by a long shot. i used to think it was but then i saw the other parts of human existence through my military career and thought that i would be more suited to giving out information than to respond to it.
you can read my life so far on this blog page, just look at the top and click on the link to “How i come to be me” or something, (i forget) anyway, i dropped out and disappeared out of the UK (but still under the same skies) and started my adventure. i know i had a family in the UK but they were doing what they were doing and there was no way they would have been allowed to come with me. A single guy travelling around meets all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds, I’ve met millionaires, paupers, beggars, princes and princesses. A few i wasn’t too sure about, but we will gloss over those as “friends” changing my life completely around and going from soldier to teacher to sun seeker to diving instructor really had an effect on my sense of me. it put everything back into perspective, everything that my career as a soldier knocked sideways. at first all i wanted to do was my job as a mechanic, then i wanted to see what the world was like then when i found it wasn’t to my liking, i wanted to change it but frustration set in when i found i couldn’t. i could make a difference to some, but the senselessness of everything i was witnessing around the war torn countries just mounted and affected me in ways i would never know until later in life.
So as i walked back from my shopping trip today from ‘Up the street’ i thought long and hard about the future the present and the past. The guys at a place called Holly Bush House in Scotland (they work for the MOD and NHS under Combat Stress) tell me not to reminisce about past events, but as my entire life (so far) is IN the past, its hard not to. they say live in the moment. I do, only these are but fleeting moments and in a trice, they become the past. if i think about the future, i MUST think about the past, because the present can only be acted upon as it happens. I’m not getting too lost on this am i? So i took stock of my life, the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been, the decisions (good and not so informed) the people i have upset through life, the people i have had bad thoughts about (again, in my head I’m ALWAYS right) and i feel i must apologise to the world, its not the best media outlet to do this on, but I’m sure if i have upset any of my readers through my life, a timely apology would seem the first step to the realisation I’m not all together a bad bloke.
in case you are wondering what the pics represent, i have just had me cooker plumbed in this afternoon and decided to make enchiladas (sorry to my veggie friends) but the chicken died honourably and made it into a stock too 🙂 ANYWAY, as its about time to sign off for now, i will leave you with this thought.