One potato two potato three potato……………..DIE!!!!!!!!!!

Now the title seems a two headed, but it’s truly been a day of two sides today (not two halves) I have also just been informed it’s the 13th AND a full moon lol.but the day started on a wet note). It’s obviously summer in the UK because the rain chucked it down as soon as me eyes opened. As the time went on and I made a brew, the rain seemed to grow to the size of small dogs, then larger ones. (no cats) so the promise of me sister coming round for coffee as she walked the dog disappeared as quick as a fart in a hurricane. So I wasted no time in driving round there for breakfast when the call came 🙂 (bloody mercinery). Two hours later and I had some old guy in my flat measuring up for carpets and cushioned Lino. (He really was old, he used a quill and parchment)

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While I waited for said corpse, I decided to erect the wardrobe that had been dropped off yesterday. Now it’s not one of those ordinary ones that takes three minutes and a roll of selotape. This fucker (sorry for the language) was heavy AND huge!!! All I had was my pipe cleaner arms and a small screwdriver. It took an hour and a half to get it assembled. And another half hour looking at it and rearranging my bedroom, just to put it all back the way I originally had it! (I hate too much change ) once that was back to normal I exited stage left back to my sisters for an afternoon of retail therapy. Locking my front door (MY FRONT DOOR) I heard a humming noise emanating from the old guys shed in his garden next door. (I guess he’s whittling with his lathe) I live an old mans shed, it’s your castle, your workshop, your quiet place, your ZEN room (I have one of those at the top of my stairs)

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Anyway, to the metro centre with a list of stuff to get and the first store we found was a woman’s clothes store for my sis. It was in here that I asked a (looked like) store worked where the changing rooms were for me sis. Well she shouldn’t dress like a store worker if she doesn’t work in a store. Her husband got all ratty and upset that a stranger was talking to his beloved. Well I didn’t see him in amongst the shirt and stuff. (As evil eyes go, his were positively crossed) we launched off in the general direction of the exit and found said rooms. (Now I understand why on the outside of the changing rooms every store has put comfy chairs. If they put a bar, OR a gaming machine, you would have a plethora of happy guys )

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Not often I put a pic of me in. Anyway, one of my objectives today was to spend my gift voucher from next, I got this from emailing them a few weeks ago complaining about a tea service I brought from them two years ago. All I wanted was a pan, I didn’t care that it would cost that entire voucher, it would be an awesome pan. Anyway, as we walked through the mall, it seems I donned my Klingon cloaking device again, people walked into me and didn’t bat an Eyelid. Unfortunately one particular girl who should have withered and burst into flames decided to push my envelope just that little but too far. For NO reason (visible to the outside world) I exploded inside my head and ripped her limb from limb) I apologise to my sister (she didn’t realise either, she just knew I had tripped the switch), I plummeted back to reality in The beat of a humming birds wing, and that was that (unfortunately, my mind wasn’t having any of it)

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I think it may have started from last night when I decided I needed a freeview box for me telly, (now every one I’ve seen is about a tenner) but since my TV doesn’t accept Scart leads, I knew it was going to hurt my pocket.five times the normal price and I cried a little. (But the quality of HDMI is fantastic (and FREE)) so I felt a little weak at spending what I really didn’t want to, so obviously the negative thoughts of retail therapy flowed back into my mentality ;(. As I said earlier, my mind wasn’t finished with me yet. After the fact that NO pans exist in ‘Next for homes’ I was to give up looking for my present to myself. So it was a trip to IKEA for us.

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Now I love IKEA, I love the idea of a shop you just wander round AND get a cafe that gives you free refills of coffee. We found Rugs, liners, clothes horses (not real horses unfortunately) so it was time for said coffee. (This is where my brain turned up a notch) I stood in the foyer of the cafe deciding what to have, (it was only going to be a coffee as the queue for food was as long as the dole queue back in the eighties) so I picked up two cups and headed for the nearest till. As I stood there waiting, the young chap (oh how heavily am I censoring myself) decided that he wouldn’t serve me, he served the lady who came in begins me from the food area, his excuse was that he had already put the “water” through his till. Now she was nowhere to be seen when I walked in. And his smirk as he looked at me really piqued my levels. I grabbed the cups with such force that my knuckles went white. My sister immediately knew something was awry and stood next to me. As I got in direct line of sight, he started to stare me out (now usually I never confront an argument) I stared straight back at him and hissed “What’s your problem mate?” I know it doesn’t sound a lot, but this guy was going to get an IKEA mug across the bridge of his nose. He looked at me and smirked some more and in a heavily accented Eastern European accent relied, “Nozink” I stood still and said that he was a dick and just give me my change NOW. (I had NO emotion or feeling for this moment and I don’t know how I should have dealt with it) but I wanted an argument, well my brain wanted to lash out. (I felt bad afterwards but it just happened) this is getting a little worse as the time goes on, I’m sure I have to mention this to the proper people but that will have to wait.

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Well it’s a new week starting tomorrow and we will see what it brings, I’m sure I will forget lots of stuff I’m supposed to do but I’ll look at that when it happens. May your deities smile on your evenings and dreams smile through the darkness (unless you are on night shift, then I wish you all the quietness a Sunday night should afford you )

Published by dec247h

Ex soldier, father, party girl and generally nice guy taking time out to do as he pleases! one day i will make it back to the UK, but i aint in a hurry!

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