Sup up your beer and collect your fags, theres a row going on down near slough

From school dye long since gone….

May I indulge myself today? Ive had many different guises throughout my life; civilian, soldier, mechanic, teacher (to name but a few in my latter years (all very fulfilling too i must add)) but as I sat this afternoon listening to the griping of a ( at this point I was going to be gentlemanly and NOT mention this, but i now just don’t care (who obviously has NO friends or enemies for that fact)) overweight old fart!!! I couldn’t but help wondering why people fell the NEED to be not nice. Okay you pay your money to do things, but why whine when YOU get it wrong? Why whinge when your own body is playing tricks on you and you think that kit shrinks during the day? WHY NOT JUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS IN LIFE?  Reading that comment, some people may think that it’s a bit harsh. Well those WILL be the people who expect everyone to do everything for them and not really lift a finger to help themselves subsequently blaming the world for their own downfalls. It’s a tough life people, and the quicker you get to realise that, the better the rest of us who do the right thing will be. ………..Rant over!P8310047

Anyway, as I promised me mate this morning, I would take a look at his scooter and figure out why he had NO front brake, a tool box was furnished  to me and upon opening it, I found it might as well have been from any LAD I’ve served in who’s crafties need a kicking! Making do with the wrong sized screwdriver and a couple of assorted (unknown sized) scanners, I set to work stripping the system down to find a problem. Brakes arnt that difficult anyway, and since he had NO front Burke to start with, I really couldn’t make it any worse. So the lever fell/ came off first. Sorting that wasn’t a drama as I had a spare nut (didn’t know if it would fit, but it did…..eventually….. In fashion (it’s Cyprus for gods sake, he’s lucky I didn’t just shove a nail through the hole and bend it over. P8310053
Removing the cowling became a relaxing job, as there wasn’t any particular screw sizes to contend with, or particular screws for that matter. All the way down to the brake calliper.  (now it got interesting). The calliper came off rather easily (you just know when something should be hard, but isn’t! That’s an indicator something is a miss) so I set it aside for inspection later. Happily al the Burke fluid ran free from the line connected to the brake piston (at least that wasn’t blocked) unfortunately I wasn’t aware of the  severe brake fluid shortage at the dive centre. So I gathered as much as I could (which wasn’t a lot really) and inspected the calliper. Yup, it was a calliper and yup it was seized, and yup the bleed nipple was from another type of vehicle and yup it was going to take me an age stripping it down to un seize  and clean off. By the time I had returned from my odyssey with a proper bleed nipple, I was getting close to my cut off point!!!!
Reassembly after striping and cleaning and stuff, was easy, bleeding the system was a pain and the fact that I had some ‘Wee’ screws left made me feel like I was back in business. The bike needs new brake shoes but it has some front brake now, better than none, but then again it IS Cyprus, no bugger uses them anyway. Diving to the wreck of the white star was my treat in the afternoon. A fun dive with a camera (a camera that I didn’t get the chance to download the pics onto my SD card, so NO pics tonight from today, but as soon as I get them, I’ll post and add to my flkr account. 
(I’m building up to the beginning of my rant here) the divers assembled for a briefing, all was well, myself, a guy called Mark (whomever I’ve dived before with) a young couple on holiday and a rather rotund useless organism that would feel better in the quagmire of early earth blaming the comets that pound the surface daily for it’s uselessness. I waited for the camera as the others made their way to the harbour, as I caught them I noticed Whinging Mother Dutch (WMD) wasn’t with us. We had heard her say she was going to the car so we assumed she was going to the car (for a friggin lift) as we walked, we saw the car, and it didn’t have WMD in it. I stopped it and asked where she was. Mark the DM said she was supposed to walking down with us. (can you feel my blood temperature rising?) I told the group I would find her and meet them at the boat. 
Walking back to CYdive, I saw my little rescue victim Pablo walking towards me with WMD so I took charge of her and walked to the harbour. She started chuntering  (in Dutch/ English) that she had lost the crew and didn’t know what was happening. (up about a degree bey now) getting to the jetty was a pain, she wanted to talk to me but I just couldn’t (I know I should be nice and polite, but when you have net these type many times before, you just switch off to the droning noise em invariant from their mouths) by the time I had sorted myself out, the boat was full of kit and WMD was left on the harbour trying to don her wet suit. (THE SAME SIZE S THE ONE SHE HAD ON IN THE MORNING,,, IF NOT THE SAME FRIGGIN ONE) it would fit. We told her to try the top half only…. It wouldn’t fit, she chuntered. (she told us this as we were leaving the harbour) fuck it! We would sort that out at the dive sight. 
At the dive sight, the captain pointed to the pointy right side of the boat (now there IS a nautical term for this I’m sure, but you know what? I just don’t give a shit) there in the water was a beautiful sea turtle, it was at least 1 meter long, maybe more but it was too late to get the camera for that one ( trust me it was magical) WMD was shoehorned into her wetsuit and still complained, after she entered the water at least I couldn’t hear her. The dive went perfect (as I said, loads of pics and stuff but I’ll get them tomorrow) after about 45 minutes, I surfaced (still had air from a 12lt tank) and got onto the boat, WMD was last and didn’t look well. She sat down with all her kit on and started to complain about sea sickness (now I’m sure I’ve told you about when I was sick, so I really can empathise with her, well I could of, but I didn’t want to) she was I’ll al over the side (I’m sure she aimed for me at one time) and she STILL complained. It was the suits fault, it was Cydives fault, it was the wrecks fault (at least four degrees of latent heat were ready to explode from my ears) 
Getting back to land she was the first one off the boat (oh, don’t actually give anyone a hand getting your own stuff off will you) as we walked back to the centre, she was mumbling some shite, I switched off and talked to my other dive partner. Entering the dive shop, she immediately started to complain about the whole experience to the owners wife. I stood incredulous at what I was hearing, She took NO portion of blame for herself, she just meted it out in ALL directions. Well, I really hope I never see her again (unless it’s a video of what not to do whilst feeding a shark) 
Today was fun for all the wrong reasons, but I got my hand back in with the mechanics (to be finished at a later date when the spares a in) I got another dive closer to starting my Dive Master course. And I got to see someone else be sick on a boat for a change. All in all, a pretty cool day.
For my friends (and family) whether you may be X

Published by dec247h

Ex soldier, father, party girl and generally nice guy taking time out to do as he pleases! one day i will make it back to the UK, but i aint in a hurry!

One thought on “Sup up your beer and collect your fags, theres a row going on down near slough

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: