Quirky song for a dodgy age. (I owned a Mk 1 Fiesta who’s front left wheel fell out the engine with the half shaft and everything)
Air, it occupies your life in such a way that if you are deprived of it (even for the shortest of times) you begin to value our most abundant element we have in our atmosphere. I don’t think its coincidence that we breathe it, i follow the scientists that lead our beliefs in the way that we crawled from the oceans and reached for the stars. Well this dude is defiantly one of the ones who wanted to get out and suck up the thick gooey gas we so long desire. In fact, when this evolutionary mammal takes to the high seas (Or low seas in his case) he longs to take as much of it as he can, If i could fill my pockets I would. If i could have a tube attached to the surface and some way of expelling the crap gasses, i would. In fact if i could strap a tank of airto my back, dive down to around thirty meters, have a mooch around then come back to the surface (with a safety stop shaved in there just for jolly) and still have enough air to get to the boat, I would be happy.
Oh but Mother Nature has different plans (Nothing to do with Tampax) she has given me not only a big heart, but a big set of lungs with which to suck up 200 bar of air in one gulp. To say this is becoming a little tedious is like saying the Herpes is just a rash. (talking of rashes, mines looking decidedly fierce now) So i have booked the employ of Cydives 2IC for a session on Monday to make me breathe with a little more conservatism. (He’s ex RLC so that will be him strangling me then). That being said, the dive i slipped under the surface today had the same current at 65 meters as the last dive i did with him. Once again i found myself flapping like the Union flag on a blustery day. Cool on the way down (Until you realise how much energy it takes to stay firm on a rope) funny as f*ck on the way up, but you just lie there in the “wind’ for three minutes relaxing as you get buffeted around.
Ive realised too that the way NOT to be sick is to troff a handful of seasickness tablets the night before, and a shmorgass board of pills in the morning, but Im taking a day off from diving tomorrow so i can concentrate on my tan (with a little alcohol too no doubt). The dive today took us to near a point that divers say you get ‘Nitrogen Narcosis’ Now that doesn’t sound too clever to me, but i was told that if i start to feel drunk and light headed, just ascend a couple of meters until it goes, then defend again. Pissed under the sea for free sounds good, but the side affects are (end state) DEATH. Now in life I’m used to things trying to off me in the most unusual and spectacular way imaginable, but now I’ve got the air that i breath trying its damnedest to slot me. Oh well, i survived and to be honest the other pair of divers were a mere eight minutes behind us (including the 3 minutes safety) so i didn’t do too badly.
Ill send this out early as my night could become a bit of a hazy experience. Im out to one of the nicest places i have found, just relaxing in the atmosphere (ill swipe a couple of pocketfuls for Monday)
To all my friends (and family (wherever you are in the world)) X