FML if you get this you have far too much life left in the 80’s
Two dives today (After a free breakfast at the Elysium of course) hey why not! its a big hotel, and i seem to frequent that place more than the bleeding holiday makers! I know young Nikkie wants to get her tan on before she gets back to Blighty, AND she wants to get the carrot cream to quicken this up, but unfortunately, she show like me. If the shopkeeper is a Kn*b head, you just don’t want to give them the pleasure of your money and this one came across as one. So not Carrot cream for her today! Apparently the ‘Better’ travel agent we ventured into after the chemist was going to send me an email concerning flights home in December. You know i might as-well not bother my arse trying to get off this Island via aircraft. (at the time of writing, still not email has pooped through my digital letterbox)
So to the dives; the first one made me a little nervous as i hadn’t been to that depth before (its only 12-14 meters but unless you’ve been down, shut up) I’m pleased we were allowed (well its compulsory really) to go down the anchor line (at least you had a frame of reference if it all went tits) as we defended, i was put in the mind of a National Geographic cover of a ship wreck. The water was blue and you could see this hiking goliath as soon as you looked down. We slowly started to circle the ship looking at the mess it had made all over the sea bed (bless!) Gareth started to take photos (Yup you’ve guessed, your gonna see them) and we just looked at something that shouldn’t really be in that position UNDER the sea. When you think about it, it really was like flying over a harbour (laugh now if you think thats stupid, but again, if you haven’t done it, shut up)
Everything was going fine, the sunglasses came out and Gareth decided to snort the contents of his mask up his nose when he put it back on,(now ill shove anything up my nose, i really will. But seawater is best kept on the outside of your mask) the procedure is to press the top of the mask when its full of water and blow through your nose, now Gareth has a new way, it may fly in the face of convention but it works. What you do is don your mask after its been off (just to make sure all the air is out and the seawater feels at home. Wait a second (just to ensure no air gets in at all) then breath in through your nose as briskly as possible. Salty seawater isn’t the healthiest thing to snort otherwise the fish would be off out of the way of the nets and hooks quicker than Usain Bolt (which is the speed Gareth realised that he may well have made an error in judgement)
At the surface back on the boat we all regaled each other of what we saw, what we did and what we would have done if we had more air (Gareth trying to act out a scene from the Abyss depleted his air quicker (i thought the dive master was letting him use his air so he could take better pictures (I don’t know why i thought that))) so me and Nikkie buddied up (i haven’t got the pics from her yet) the surfacing itself was a greek tragedy. My air was starting to get thinner as i was running out too, but at 5 meters from the top we had planned a three minute stop (just in case) the buffoon in front of me wasn’t the best swimmer in the world, to be honest i don’t think he was the best swimmer in HIS wetsuit, so i was constantly watching his fins for knocking my mask off or regulator out! but we got there in the end (Possibly the longest three minutes of my life) getting aboard was easy, it was waiting for the rest to surface (I hate boats) and as i was at the pointy end bobbing up and down like a corpse already i felt like i wanted to get rid of the contents of my stomach. I’m pleased i didn’t though because that would have made me a point of ridicule from ‘Snorty and Tippy” and that wasn’t going to happen today.
After a dinner of pizza, we did the night dive. Fortunately we walked into the sea (no boats) the holiday makers all watched in surprise as we got all our kit on right in the middle of them all, at night, I overheard one mother tell her child that we wouldn’t be going in as it was dangerous. Well we did and i hope the child now disbelieves his mother every time she opens her mouth. We swam around a place where we had been several times through the day, but it was so different without sunlight. We had our torches but as you could only see as far as the light shone we found it so confusing (in fact it may have taken us a little longer than it should have been to find the first point) Soldiers, think night nav with NO moon or map, civilians think of fluffy kittens. My mask decided to play funny buyers and slowly fill itself up with the contents of the sea, so i had to stop every five minutes to get rid of it. This is when my torch decided (every time) to float up and blind me for a laugh) eventually we got back to the shore after a brilliant half hour under. Gareth proceeded to ask an elderly gentleman if he had seen a boat, i think the old guy thought we were a bit mental.
Today has been a fantastic adventurous day all round. Im sorry but its all I’ve done today (and that got to be better than blogging about walking around drinking Mojitos around the marina (thats tomorrow when i haven’t got a dive)) Tis one is for my Dad as he used to dive and is now too old to do it, so I’m doing it for him (until its time to do it for me of course)
To my friends (wherever you are in the world) X