Americanos, Blue jeans and chinos!

Singer and group!!

As i entered the land of the living today i felt something wasn’t right, not in a bad way, just a combat indicator that something was amiss. Rubbing my eyes and reaching for my glasses i looked around the darkened room, it was cool, i wasn’t sweating but my phone didn’t tell lies when she trilled her alarm at 0700 (i know its still night time) usually the first thing i do…. well the second thing i do is switch the air con onto max for a couple of minutes just to remind me I’m not on the surface of the sun. Making my way to the kitchen i opened my front door. The sun wasn’t hanging around the car park ready to kick seven bells out of anyone stupid enough to think it wasn’t there. 

I spotted clouds, Clouds oh how i hadn’t seen these things for some time now, i thought they had all emigrated over the UK. the day was going to be bearable! I knew i needed some things in town so i thought (stupidly) that sun cream wasn’t going to be an issue, (TWAT!)) As i deftly snuggled into Bob, i caressed her COOL interior. this was something i hadn’t felt before, i even ventured to put the blowers on cold onto my feet. Ecstasy!! for a moment or two anyway, then they started to heat up. Bugger! Oh well, I would have the cooling power of the wind rushing over the opened top to keep my body temperature lower than 113 degrees. 

Travelling into the old town, i realised i may have made a massive gaff. Fuel first though, then try to find the post office for some passport sized pics so i can send my driving licence back (again) to Swansea because they are inept. Obviously, i got lost and dove like a Cypriot, up the wrong ways and U turning in the wrong places. I even contemplated using my phone whilst driving. Almost! Eventually i found my way home and was duly told i didn’t need the bloody Post Office anyway!!! Down the Marina for a local to take my pic, print it off four times, cut little round corners on them and charge me the princely sum of €10 for the trouble. No after, i have them now. 

I still hadn’t applied any sun cream, but the clouds were still hanging around so it was all good. I needed food so i ate at one of the restaurants i hadn’t been to before, and i won’t be troubling them again, the food that was presented didn’t even have the front to try and be like it was described on the menu!! Ive never really eaten scrambled eggs that look identical to fried eggs (and they weren’t even on the menu) My only conciliation was that the German family sat behind me didn’t get served at all!!!  Walking back to Bob i decided to have a look at Debenhams, just to see what was occurring (and t get into some air con (It hadn’t clicked yet)  As usual, all the stuff in there was inflated to extreme prices. I wouldn’t pay that money in ‘Superdry’ let alone Debenhams.

Back at Bob, the cabin was a bit warm, and the steering wheel almost made a hissing noise as i touched it, THEN IT CLICKED!!! okay, the clouds may have covered the sun and a slight breeze may have masked the heat along the front, I gingerly looked at my shoulders and made a mental note to get the After sun out when i got home. Driving to Pambis (my local) a met up with my mates and was surreptitiously payed for my graft over the last coupe of days. Trouble was, i still wanted to go back and fix someone else’s crappy paintwork, but that was going to wait until late afternoon early evening so the sun had a chance to do one and stop trying to make me self combust (Just as it did to the re tarmacing  of the roads yesterday) apparently the road outside Paphos was being re laid yesterday and it spontaneously self combusted. I thought , when i saw the smoke, that a plane or something had crashed. It was thick and black, more like a volcanic explosion!! oh well, i told you its been hot! 

Anyway, my new tattoo has been exposed to ferocious heat and cold showers, i have lost more weight due to sweating most of my fluids away, and i have now taken to wearing long sleeved tops in the sun!  I know i said i would make it as interesting as 50 Shades of Whatnot, but as i haven’t read the book, i can’t give you a comparison. Ill sit now and savour my Costa Coffee (beans at €4, cup at €3)  

For my friends XP1030955P1030965P1030954P1030966P1030968P1030963


3 thoughts on “Americanos, Blue jeans and chinos!

  1. Fifty shades of shite? Haha just kidding.

    Love the word twat, specially when typed in capitals 🙂

    Ps I’m using my iPhone 4s and it’s more sexy than 50 shades of whatnot. I’m loving the feel..

    X

    Like

    1. Lol the mankey feet are s gauge at how brown I’m going, the white bits are me sandals (I must stop wearing them and use flip flops instead)

      Sent from my iPhone

      Like

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