Not a song title but the name of an episode of “It aint half to mum” If you can guess the cap badge of the concert party, lll give you three points.
The alarm blared out its clanging chimes at 0730 and i hit the snooze button (although it doesn’t posses a snooze button, i just switched it off) Having guessed at 15 minutes, i got out of (or rather got off) the bed and slid into the shower. When you open the bedroom door, the heat of the apartment kicks you in the face then punches you in the groin, and while your bent over, it ‘Nuggies’ your head!
Going to the house i was all set to paint i did a little detour first to get a new set of stuff so i could actually finish the job (I left the last ones in a van and consequently they died an agonising death in the heat) As i approached the shop, i forgot EVERYTHING that was floating around in my head, so i didn’t really have a clue what i needed anymore. Spending 40 minutes wandering around a DIY store really isn’t that bad if you are a bloke, it holds all matter of gadgets and gizmos (most you will have no need of, but you never know when someone might need a widget) Rollers and trays, that was it!. and a large stick, and a scraper, and……. the remembered list consisted of one item, the rest is just the clagage that men bolt on.
In the house (it was already too hot) i wrestled with the back door, then i realised it was still locked! Not a good start. As i perused the outer wall i was going to paint (with the worlds smelliest paint i may add) i noticed a bubble or two of loose plaster. No matter, ill just dig it out and…………… What? do what with it, i had NO plaster.
Another visit to the shop for some plaster, and a trowel, and a bucket. and……(same old same old)
Back at the house i decided to start with the upstairs first, i knew the paint was supposed to be in the garage, so i opened that up. I phoned my mate (who gave me the job) and explained that even as good as I am, i couldn’t really paint two different colours with only one pot of paint. I could hear him call himself a few names on the phone, so i decided to go back downstairs and look at the plaster that was coming off. A poke here, a tug there, and half the frikkin wall came away.
Another visit t the shop for MORE plaster (this was going to be a big one)
Back to the house (after a trip to my gaff to get some needed tools i had forgot earlier), as i kept tapping the hollow sounding plaster, my heart started to sink, it was becoming bigger than Ben Hur, but never let it be said that inanimate objects frighten me off a job. As i hacked away it became obvious that some serious plastering was required, (as I’ve never really plastered, i had to become an expert in pretty much an hour) Finally getting to the end of the broken plaster, i started to mix the filler in my nice new shiny bucket. Using my Spanky new drill and attachment, i made light work of a lot of mixing. My next problem was applying it to the wall in a sort of semi professional manner, It went on, is all i can say. But a bit of ingenuity and bottles of water to wet the stuff and flatten it off, it looked good.
Another visit to the shop to buy a sander, and an extension cable , and some sand paper…..(you get the idea)
Back at the house the plaster was looking the business, so i masking taped the dividing wall area off and mixed the paint (as i said earlier, it stank to high heven, i didn’t want to get any on me or in my mouth) after wiping my face with my T shirt (thus spreading the friggin paint around my lips and nearly gagging) i started to ‘Cut in’. Now any seasoned professional will nod his (or her) head at this second part of the job (the first is the preparation) I then realised that i needed a ladder anyway as my new pole would be awkward around the light fittings that seemed to be unreasonably high up. Old Charlie duly supplied the ladders AND a well anticipated cup of coffee.
All in all, the job went as well as could be expected with all the cock ups and demolition, to the house, the forgotten paint, the newly bought tools AND a new set of step ladders purchased after i left for the evening (from the same shop i had been in and out of all bloody day) Bingo tonight netted me a small win and that covered my ticket for the farewell concert of Phil Collins in Paphos next month. Job continues in the morning, but I’m sure i now have everything for it to run a lot smoother than today.
For my friends X