Name the film.
I tweeted this morning that my day would consist of swimming in the Med and walking along the sand whilst i top up me tan. Well the first part was easy really, i drove down past the ‘Tomb of the Kings’ (holes in the ground) and did a little off roading to get to a decidedly dodgy car park that was really the top of a rocky sand dune (i now its hard to imagine, but there are such things) I didn’t see any point in locking Bob as she had been stripped of anything nickable and if i did close the windows, the heat would make the seats self combust. I walked down the grassy slope and onto the white sandy beach. It looked like a scene from “The Fall and Rise of Reggie Perrins” as i stripped another item of coshing every hundred yards. eventually i was left with me Daniel Craig trunks and flip flops. Putting the towel on the ground for a lovely lie down later on I took off me flip flops an started off to the sea. I jumped straight back onto the towel, Jesus the sand was hot (yes it had been baking under the sun for a few hours without any let up)
With burnt and blistered feet, i ran as fast as an Olympic sprinter to the waves breaking about twenty five meters away. I forgot the edge of the sand drops away quickly and i looked like a right twat when i fell arse over elbow into the Med. Now the saltiness of the water as it breaks on the sand is tenfold what it is about thirty feet out, so i immediately felt sick. I swallowed the bile as actually up chucking in front of local hotties would have lead me to dessert the beach and drive on to a more secluded spot where the thong wearers and bong eyed hunch backs swim. I sucked up the nausea and swam out to where i could stand and have a wee without anyone knowing. Once again all my efforts were thwarted by the fact that bikini clad fittys were swimming close by. (I may have broken wind, but i think i got away with that because of the foam)
It was an awesome morning, I stayed in the sea for about an hour and a half, came out, had a bit of a lie down then into the surf again to get rid of the wayward sand that had made its way into the nether regions of my trunks. Bob sat waiting patiently for me to get back, and the sandy towel was flapped off before i got in her. The wind picked up at that precise moment and covered my face eyes and open mouth in sand. I couldn’t even towel it off!!!! we drove to a place where i handed in my application form for a pool course and was promptly asked why i wasn’t wearing a top on such a hot day (obviously i had thought of the consequences of this as being a pool cleaner sort of more or less lends itself to keeping your body covered so you don’t burn) “Bugger!” was my initial reaction “Where has that gone” It was an honest question to myself, i was sure i had one on when i left my apartment, but now i looked even more of an idiot as when i did falling into the Med.
On my way back to my gaff, i saw a guy walking along the road past ‘The Splash Bar” (i was going to go in and see about a tattoo) He had the worlds biggest backpack and looked like he was going to die. Only a young lad, i thought i would ask if needed a lift somewhere. People, please say hello to Bradon Muilenburg (yup thats spelled correct) from Michigan.He is on Face Book and has been traveling around Europe for the last seven months, now i have helped him on his next leg toward Israel. he then plans to go into the middle east proper and tour around until the end of the year where he plans to go back to the good old U.S of A. This guy is living everyones dream who wants to travel around the world. All the best for him, i hope he makes it back home without any problems (although i did tell him that travelling through Northern Iraq is now relatively safe (ish)) I took him to Limassol, where he could get an onward lift to Larnika airport for this connecting flight. Bradon if you’re following this, then comment every now and then when you can to show you are still alive and not in prison.
Guys its been a brilliant day all round, I exercised, I met a total stranger and made a friend and i bought some Heinz baked beans to go with my steak and kidney Pukka pie in the fridge later on.
For you all X