I met the Stig

I haven’t really, but the bloody idiot that drove me around town this morning could have come a close second to the white racer. I was awakened by the ghastly tones of my horn for an alarm on me phone, and i could quite easily have thrown it out the window after the night i had last night. Honestly. all i did was join an older couple for a quick half and it turned into a good old talk and a lot of Jack, needles to say, my head felt like a foot!

Any road up, Jason picked me up and took me around to his place (just around the corner from my new Gaff) and i started to drink a lovely cup o coffee, when my phone went at 0810, it was bloody Nicos (unusual name for a Cypriot) and he was 20 minutes early, Definitely NOT a Cypriot according to Caz He was at the apartment early because the Father of the guy i was going t rent off was at HIS office and nervous that i wouldn’t turn up!!!! as i got talking to the old fella, it passed that he was also ex REME, so that sort of calmed him a little, brothers in arms and all that, so the deal went ahead.

Nicos then took me, (Rallied to the bleeding Electric office) he did a few handbrake turns, a bit of sideway steering and other such dodgy Cypriot driving stuff, i actually felt sick. a few minutes getting that sorted then off to the water board (he was obviously on a timed firkin lap) so the gloves were off! as we entered the car park, he gleefully informed me that there had been an accident in front of us (it wouldn’t have surprised me if he had caused it) and two cars were scraped to bits! Water sorted Nicos wanted to take me to a shop that would be able to sell me a cheap washer, however on the way there he decided that i needed a car from his brother in law, not just any old car, but a €9000 suzuki swift sport! nice car, but not at all what i wanted. so a cup of coffee there and we were on the blocks again, ready for a sprint start to the washing machine shop.

I was informed the if i mentioned his name, some sort of deal would be reached on getting the white gods cheaper, i made this all out as i was deposited on the steps out side the shop and he wheel spun away in such a haste, i though he had given me a bomb to plant. The shop was big, Really big, you could almost find anything in there, I’m sure i spied the Ark of the Covenant  twice on separate floors. I didn’t really have the energy t carry anything anywhere with me so i left and found a HUGE Debenhams and Next, i couldn’t believe it, so i ventured up to the cafe for a breakfast only to find i was too early. I was starting to hate this day!

As i left the shop with the right hump, i came across a lovely red BMW 5 series with all the trimmings and bells, but with the added luxury of a tree growing from its bonnet, and a Mercedes strapped to its side. Another accident! driving across here may kill you, as i surveyed the damage, the horrible realisation that i didn’t have a firkin clue where i was dawned on me. So now i was not only hungover, hungry and pissed off, i was lost!, being the good soldier i am, i checked the compass on my watch, lined it up with the sun and immediately asked the doorman at next which way the port was. Two bloody hours later, i glimpsed the rooftops of civilisation, i could have been anywhere in essence as i hadn’t past a soul for ages.( took some pics though)

A big breakfast at the Rose Bar and i was set for anything, Nearly!! i wanted to check out the shops along the front to see what sort of useless stuff they sold for my new abode, but i was in no mood, i just wanted to get back to my hotel and sleep, i couldn’t even be bothered to wait for the bus, so i walked. I had been doing so all morning, so why break with tradition!!!!!?

iIt was then (after a lovely sleep)that i realised with growing trepidation, that i really didn’t have a clue where i lived, a bit worried i sent Caz a text asking what bus i needed. Not thinking too straight, i had neglected to mention where from and where to! this was sorted so a bus ride into town, to get another out ensued! This took in the vista of half the bloody island, I’m sure the driver got himself lot too, but eventually i made it to the pub! it was a bit of a surprise as i didn’t know where i was going to get off! looking around the flat, i bummed into the next door neighbours and talked a while about the life i was now going to live. I went to the pub, quick time and bumped into a character named Alan, (you will get to hear more about him I’m sure), then Jase and Caz came in and took me back to my hotel.

Adventure is the name of the game and I seem to get more than Jack bloody Sparrow. 


For Skye! XP1030493P1030496P1030498P1030501P1030502P1030503P1030504P1030505P1030506

Published by dec247h

Ex soldier, father, party girl and generally nice guy taking time out to do as he pleases! one day i will make it back to the UK, but i aint in a hurry!

One thought on “I met the Stig

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